For some time recently, I've been perplexed by self-projections and how i should judge my myself. Should i judge myself from my professional (ie academic) achievements, or the quantitative influence of my work (though I'm yet to produce a single thing)? This all sounded egoistic afterwards, as soon as i tried to reduce the anxiety by little introspection from a spiritual point of view. But. Even this spiritual understanding of my ambitions didn't solve the conundrum. I got the answer from iqbal's persian poem.
(English trans by me from Urdu)
Laazt e sair ast maqsood e safar.
Gar nigah bar aashiyan dari mapar.
Purpose of journey is in its pleasure.
If you aim at your destination/home, don't fly
Zindagi juz lazzat e parwaz neest
Ashiyan ba fitrat e Oo saaz neest
Life is nothing but taste of flight.
Ashiyana (home) is not nourishing for his nature